Nursey's Bedtime Stories

Remember I told you that the Old Man was like the Princess in the Princess and the Pea?

Well - so now....
We're talkin' Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

You see - when you've had the kind of op that the Old Man's had - you come out of hospital with (not to put too fine a point on it) your breastbone wired up.

(All together now: "Eeeyugh!")

So this means getting up out of a chair is not simple. Cos you mustn't press down with your arms to push yourself out of the chair. You got to rock and roll, cross your heart, lean forward, and push up with those leg muscles. And the Old Man doesn't have much leg muscle.

So the most important thing at the moment is .... the choosing of chairs.


First I remove his customary low slung Ikea, and replace with an upholstered, sit-up straight, armchair.

"Too low still. Not enough back support."

Take that away. Replace with a high backed kind of dining chair with arms.

"Mmmmn. Quite nice. No. It's too hard. I want to stretch out, I want to put my legs up."

Move over to the sofa - and blissful comfort. Followed by....

"Help! I can't get up out of this."

Put a slightly higher stool next to the sofa to see if he can transit via the stool.

"No. Not gonna make it. Hang on - hook your hand through mine here and on the count of three. One, two, three.... No that's not it. Wait.. Put your hands on my shoulders and pull as I.... ugh.... OK . I'm up..."

Trouble is he has to sit down again to recover.
But not on the sofa. Never on the sofa again.

The room now looks like a secondhand furniture store. Which, come to think of it, it basically is. There are chairs in front of chairs and stools of various heights scattered in counterpoint.
You cannot move for chairs here. And each one has been sampled.

Where is there a Baby Bear when you need one? His chair would be "just right". It says so in the Story.